


hard to hold this fire inside me

by disinvxltura



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, One-Sided Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 06:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14970806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disinvxltura/pseuds/disinvxltura
Summary: Of course, he doesn’t have time to mull over it until he witnesses Percy and Annabeth fall into the same place he barely escaped from. And when he does, he wants to kick himself.It’s just typical that he realizes he doesn’t have a crush on Percy Jackson as soon as he sees him go to hell.or: universe alteration wherein nico develops a crush on jason





	hard to hold this fire inside me

**Author's Note:**

> this has been months in the making (mostly in my head), but here it is. the Monster Fic™. my crush on jason au.
> 
> and, forewarning y'all now. there's large chunks of the books that i've used. they're mostly altered, either due to the changing of nico's crush, but also because i didn't like what was done in the books. have fun figuring out what they are.
> 
> title from lash out by alice merton

Nico thinks it all started when he was released from the jar.

Catching sight of his saviors — Percy Jackson; a guy he recognizes as Jason Grace, former praetor; and a pretty brunette with a dagger — his eye lingers on not Percy, but _Jason_.

Jason, with his shirt sliced right down the middle so that it looks like a vest, eyes blazing.

Jason, with his golden hair and icy blue eyes.

Jason, who is very clearly not Percy.

Of course, he doesn’t have time to mull over it until he witnesses Percy and Annabeth fall into the same place he barely escaped from. And when he does, he wants to kick himself.

It’s just _typical_ that he realizes he doesn’t have a crush on Percy Jackson as soon as he sees him go to hell.

 

Jason doesn’t really pay him any mind.

Or, rather, he doesn’t notice him most of the time. When he does notice Nico, he can see the apprehension in his eyes.

(Nico sees it in everyone’s eyes.)

And that’s fair. Nico is the son of Hades, the Ghost King, Ambassador of Pluto. He kept his mouth shut about two-timing Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter. He’s fully aware that there’s bound to be suspicion all around.

It doesn’t hurt any less.

 

When Hazel tells Nico about Jason once opting to leave him in the jar, his heart breaks in two.

He knew it was coming. He knows Jason doesn’t quite trust him.

And yet, listening to Hazel talk about how she got mad at Jason for letting her down — letting _Nico_ down — Nico feels hollow.

He’s not sure what’s worse: falling for someone who gets to know you and then decides not to trust you, or falling for someone who doesn’t trust you even before they get to know you.

He’s not sure he wants to know.

 

When Jason speaks, Nico gives him all of his attention.

When Jason moves, Nico’s eyes follow him.

When Jason’s on patrol during the nighttime, Nico stays awake and watches him from atop his position in the crow’s nest — not that he could sleep in the first place.

When Jason kisses Piper sweetly and watches her with hearts in his eyes when she speaks, Nico wishes he hadn’t fallen for another hero he has no chance with.

 

Nico doesn’t like waiting around.

He eyes the cliff from his position atop the mast as Jason and Hazel make their way up to meet the bronze robber.

The giant turtle caught everyone off guard, even him. And the turtle ending up to be the pet-slash-accomplice of a sea mugger didn’t help matters.

So, yeah, Nico doesn’t like the thought of his crewmate — crush — and his sister going to what might be their deaths if it all goes wrong.

As he climbs down, the rest of the Argo II whisper in hushed tones. There’s no reason to whisper, logically speaking, but Nico understands: everyone is on edge. When his feet touch the boards, Frank sidles over.

Piper flashes him a worried look. In that split second, Nico remembers Connor and Travis Stoll, back when he was young and naïve, whispering to him that Aphrodite kids can tell who you like from just a glance.

Nico hopes it isn’t true.

Just then, two bangs go off in the distance. Nico’s head shoots up, breath catching in his throat.

Right beside him, Frank yells. It takes a moment to register that a hole about a centimeter wide is now where Frank was once standing.

A chill goes down his spine.

In the midst of the panic, Nico’s eyes lock onto Piper’s. Her mouth is agape. “You said that you thought that guy didn’t shoot you on purpose? I think we have our proof.”

Piper gulps.

 

Waiting becomes even more agonizing. The minutes tick by, and the crew starts becoming agitated.

And when something did happen? It was mayhem.

Nico almost misses it, but there’s no mistaking the bandit kicking Jason right off the cliff. Sending him down, down, down into the turtle’s mouth.

Time stops. Time isn’t real.

Nothing is real.

Nothing in this world makes sense anymore. Nico isn’t sure anything made sense. Heroes like Jason Grace aren’t supposed to die because of a stupid robbery.

Nico distantly hears alarms going off. But Nico feels… nothing. He frowns. No ringing in his ears, no sudden breaks in his chest. Nothing.

Hope rekindles in his chest. He rushes off to the catapults but spares no time to reassure Piper. She’ll know soon enough.

Nico turns to face the cliff. He pauses, taking a moment to blink hard. He squints.

What looks like a haze is over the cliff where Jason once was. But it’s just the edge of the cliff and the sea right next to said cliff, not the area surrounding it. Once Nico sees the discrepancy, he can’t stop seeing it.

“Hold on!” he calls, taking his eyes off of the cliff for a moment. “Magic’s in the air!”

“What does that even mean?!” Leo yells back. Piper frowns but nods.

“I feel it, too.”

Nico watches the clifftop. “I think Hazel might have learned how to use the Mist.”

Frank speaks up. “What should we do, then? Not fire?”

“No, we kill him where he stands! Shoot the catapults, rain hell on him! He killed Jason!” That’s Coach Hedge from the ballistae.

Frank scowls, but it’s Nico who speaks. “Jason’s not dead. I didn’t feel him die.”

Everyone except Frank eyes him weirdly. But then—

“Look!” cries Piper, who now points at the cliff. Everyone looks up.

Lo and behold, Jason flies over Hazel and body-slams the thief over the cliff, right to his pet turtle, who happily chomps on his owner.

Everyone on board cheers. And if anyone thinks it’s weird that Nico is celebrating, he’ll just tell them that he’s proud of his little sister.

(He won’t tell them that his heart clenches when he sees the groove in Jason’s hair.)

 

The day after the bandit encounter, Jason almost dies. Again.

Nico doesn’t see what happened, but what he does see is Jason falling from a thousand feet up, seemingly not aware of the world around him.

Piper’s charmspeak saves him, but in the time that he was passed out, Jason has a vision.

Everyone on board meets for a discussion, and yeah, Nico’s here and participating, but it’s only when Dalmatia is mentioned that Nico really pays attention.

(He is _not_ staring at Jason and thinking how much of a leader he was, thank you very much.)

He tunes back to the conversation when Piper asks, “So why is Diocletian’s Palace so special?”

Nico leans over and plucks a grape. “It’s said to be haunted by the ghost of Diocletian.” He smirks when he hears the table go silent.

“Who was a son of Jupiter, like me,” Jason adds. “His tomb was destroyed centuries ago, but Reyna and I used to wonder if we could find Diocletian’s ghost and ask where he was buried…”

Nico has a feeling he knows where this is going.

“Well, according to the legends, his scepter was buried with him.”

Yep, he knew it. Nico flashes Jason a knowing smile— but with Jason tensing, he figures that it came off more creepy than anything else. “Ah… _that_ legend.”

“What legend?” Hazel leans forward in her seat.

Nico turns to her and tells her what of the legend he knows, to which Leo whistles.

“Okay, _now_ I’m interested. Be nice to have a booty-kicking army of pagan zombies on our side when we enter the House of Hades.”

“Not sure I would’ve put it that way,” Jason mutters, “but yeah.”

Nico has never wanted to kiss someone as much as he wants to kiss Jason Grace right now.

As Frank and Hazel go back and forth for a minute, Nico has his eyes back on Jason. And then tries to look anywhere else.

“We won’t take long in Split,“ Jason is saying, “But looking for the scepter is worth a try. While we’re at the palace, I can leave a message for Reyna, letting her know the route we’re taking for Epirus.”

And Nico knows just what he has to do. “The scepter of Diocletian could make a huge difference.” He stands a little straighter. “You’ll need my help.”

Jason shifts. Piper takes his hand and squeezes. “Hey, sounds like fun. I’ll go, too.”

And Nico? Nope, not having it. “You can’t, Piper. It should only be Jason and me. Diocletian’s ghost might appear for a son of Jupiter, but any other demigods would most likely… ah, _spook_ him. And I’m the only one who can talk to his spirit. Even Hazel won’t be able to do that.” He stares her down.

The bell sounds. Festus creaks and whirrs over the loudspeaker.

And Nico is about to go on his first field trip with Jason.

 

Gods are assholes.

This is a theory Nico’s had for quite a while, but Favonius really hammers it in.

He and Jason have to chase him down from where they catch sight of him at an ice cream vendor, discuss Nico’s past, reveal that he’s the West Wind, and have him go, “Oh, oops! The scepter isn’t here! My master has it. Also, I was in love with a guy. Not that it matters or anything! Definitely not because I mention the one you cared for most before you developed feelings for the one beside you currently! Not important at all!”

Nico wants to throttle him. But most of all, he wants to scream and jump into the sea to escape what he knows is coming.

(He tries not to notice how Jason is surprised, but then cool with the revelation.)

(That’s a lie. What a fucking lie. Nico di Angelo: supreme liar.)

When Favonius leaves, Nico’s relieved. But so, so scared.

The ground shakes. Jason and Nico draw their swords.

“So.”

Jason tries to follow the voice, but it’s too fast for him.

“You come to claim the scepter.”

“Cupid,” Jason calls, standing tall. “Where are you?”

A laugh. “Where you least expect me. As Love always is.”

Nico scowls. This god is the number one asshole in his books, and he’s only said about three sentences.

Jason is knocked off of his feet and sent across the streets, down a set of steps. Nico runs after him.

“I thought you’d do better, Jason Grace,” Cupid mocks. “You’ve found true love, after all. Or do you still doubt yourself?”

As much as the words fill Nico with rage, they give him hope. He scrambles down the steps. “Are you okay?”

Jason takes his outstretched hand and gets up. “Yeah. Just sucker punched.”

“Oh, did you expect me to play fair?” Cupid laughs. “I am the god of love. I am _never_ fair.”

Nico wants to scream at him to shut up, but as soon as the thought registers, an arrow materializes out of thin air and flies toward Nico.

Jason deflects it and they run up the stairs, peppered with limestone from the wayward arrow. A gust of air pushes a column over and Jason pulls Nico to the side. The column falls to pieces where he was standing only a second before.

“Is this guy Love or Death?” Jason growls.

(Nico tries not to think about how hot he sounds.)

“Ask your friends,” Cupid responds. “Frank, Hazel, and Percy met my counterpart, Thanatos. We are not so different. Except Death is sometimes kinder.”

Anger boils in Nico. “We just want the scepter!” he yells out. “We’re trying to stop Gaea. Are you on the gods’ side or not?”

Another arrow. This one sinks into the ground at Nico’s feet and glows white-hot. Nico yelps and nearly trips over himself to get back as the arrow bursts into a geyser of fire.

“Love is on every side,” Cupid begins, “And no one’s side. Don’t ask what Love can do for you.”

Nico bares his teeth.

“Great,” Jason mutters. “Now he’s spouting greeting card messages.”

Then he spins around, slicing his golden sword through air— but hits something solid. A grunt and another swing, but nothing.

“Very good, Jason. At least you can sense my presence. Even a glancing hit at true love is more than most heroes manage.”

Nico wants to find him and tear him apart, limb by limb.

“So now I get the scepter?”

Cupid laughs. “Unfortunately, you could not wield it. Only a child of the Underworld can summon the dead legions. And only an officer of Rome can lead them.”

“But…” Confusion takes a hold of Jason’s expression before something dawns on him. He sets his jaw. “Just leave that to us. Nico can summon—”

A third arrow. This time, Jason can’t stop it in time. It sinks into Nico’s sword arm and a heat overtakes him. Jason shouts his name, but the arrow’s dissolving.

If Nico was angry before, he’s pissed now.

“Enough games!” The words are ripped from his throat before he can stop them. He doesn’t want to stop them. “Show yourself!”

“It is a costly thing, looking on the true face of Love.” Jason scrambles out of the way of another column toppling over. “My wife Psyche learned that lesson. She was brought here eons ago, when this was the site of my palace. We met only in the dark. She was warned never to look upon me, and yet she could not stand the mystery. She feared I was a monster. One night, she lit a candle, and beheld my face as I slept.”

“Were you that ugly?” Jason’s eyes are squinted.

Cupid laughs, and, really, Nico cannot stand listening to him for any longer. He chances a glance at Jason, who thrusts his sword into the sky.

Thunder shakes the valley. Lightning strikes where the voice was speaking and forms a crater, smoke rising up.

Nico holds his breath until Jason is knocked to the ground, Cupid mocking him.

“Stop it!” He yells when a wall collapses and almost buries Jason within the rubble. “It’s me you want.” His voice is thick with emotion. “Leave him alone.”

Jason shoots him a befuddled look, but Cupid seems to agree. “Poor Nico di Angelo. I’d ask you if you knew what you want, but I think we both know the answer to that, don’t we?”

Nico whimpers.

Cupid hums. “But even if you do know what you want, how do you know what _I_ want? My beloved Psyche risked everything in the name of Love. What have _you_ done?”

“I’ve been to Tartarus and back,” Nico snarls. “You don’t scare me.”

“I scare you very, very much. Face me. Be honest.”

And like hell Nico’s about to do that.

The ground shifts. Grass all around Nico withers. Stones crack.

Jason pulls himself up, grunting.

Nico raises his sword. “Give us Diocletian’s scepter. We don’t have time for games.”

And Nico’s smacked onto something hard. Maybe granite.

Cupid rants, but Nico can’t find it in him to care about his monologue. All he knows is that everything hurts and he’s _angry_.

Jason’s voice cuts through the pain. “Nico, what does this guy want?”

Nico wants to cry.

“Tell him, Nico di Angelo.” Nico can hear Cupid move closer to him. He doesn’t know when Cupid moved away. “Tell him you are a coward, afraid of yourself and your feelings.” Cupid lets out a bellowing laugh. Nico can picture him striding closer. “Tell him why you ran from Camp Half-Blood.” Right into his ear, low enough that Jason wouldn’t hear. “Tell him why you follow his every wish and command.”

Nico lets loose a guttural scream. The earth splits open, Roman skeletons crawling out of the fissure with missing hands and dented skulls, with togas and armor.

Cupid is distant now. “Will you hide among the dead, as you always do?”

All Nico can see is darkness, but his mind flashes him memories.

Memories of Percy Jackson, pre-Tartarus.

Memories of Jason Grace, post-Tartarus.

Cupid grapples with the skeletons. “Interesting! Do you have strength, after all?”

“I left Camp Half-Blood because of love.” Nico swallows. “Annabeth… she—”

“Still hiding!” A skeleton meets its doom. “You do not have the strength. Must we reveal the other truth?”

“Nico,” Jason, undeserving-of-this-hell Jason, speaks up. “It’s okay.” A smile. “I get it.”

It takes all of Nico’s willpower to not sob. “No, you don’t. There’s no way you can understand.”

“And so you run away again,” Cupid clicks his tongue. “From your friends, from yourself. But then again, you don’t really want a friend in him, do you?”

It takes Nico a moment to comprehend. A quick look at Jason shows that he’s about to throw something at Cupid.

“Leave him alone, Cupid. This isn’t…”

“No.” Nico’s voice is small. “No, I don’t want to be just friends with him.” He stares ahead. “And I wasn’t in love with Annabeth.”

“You were jealous of her.” Jason comes to stand beside Nico. “That’s why you didn't want to be around her. Especially why you didn’t want to be around… him. It makes total sense.”

The darkness fades. The skeletons crumble.

“I hated myself.” Bitterness creeps into his voice. “I hated Percy Jackson.”

Cupid becomes visible: an exact replica of Jason. Add wings plus a bow and quiver, and it was spot on. He stares at Nico with those ice cold eyes.

“I had a crush on Percy.” Nico spits out. “That’s the truth. That’s the big secret.” He glowers at the Jason doppelgänger. He has to remind himself that this was Cupid, not Jason. “Happy now?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say Love makes you happy.” He tilts his head. “Sometimes it makes you incredibly sad.”

When Cupid doesn’t move, Jason clears his throat. “Something else you need?”

Cupid locks eyes with Nico. “You haven’t said all of the truth of me, so don’t think you’re done. You have, however, faced the biggest part. For that, I will give you the scepter. But you have not conquered me just yet.”

Nico stares at him before spitting at his feet.

With a disappointed sigh, Cupid dissolves into the wind.

On the ground lies an ivory staff with three gold eagles holding a baseball sized sphere of dark marble.

Nico kneels and picks it up. He observes Jason. “If the others found out—”

“If the others found out,” Jason echoes, “you’d have that many more people to back you up, and to unleash the fury of the gods on anybody who gives you trouble.” Nico scowls. “But it’s your call. Your decision to share or not. I can only tell you—”

“I don’t feel that way anymore.” Nico mutters. “I mean… I gave up on Percy. I was young and impressionable, and I—I don’t...” Nico feels his eyes starting to sting.

”Nico,” Jason’s eyes are warm, not at all like Cupid’s a few minutes prior. “I’ve seen a lot of brave things. But what you just did? That was maybe the bravest.”

Nico really, really, _really_ wants to kiss Jason Grace.

 

That night, Nico dreams of blond hair, blue eyes, and strong arms wrapped around him.

 

He wants to hate Piper. He really, really does.

And unlike Annabeth, Piper doesn’t give him the time of day. She gazes upon him, her kaleidoscope eyes narrowing as she puts her hands on her hips.

It’s after Khione attacks the ship and Leo is sent off who-knows-where. It’s only been a few days, but Nico wants out.

Jason’s off with the lord of the South Wind, so he can’t try to disengage Piper and save Nico.

He knows suddenly hanging out with Jason, up on the yardarms, is suspicious. He gets it. And she’s Jason’s girlfriend, so she can’t be all that bad.

Maybe they could be friends when the war is over.

_But that won’t be happening any time soon_ , he thinks to himself as he stares her down.

Piper breaks her gaze.

 

It’s a week after the bomb.

The African sun is oppressive, beating down on Nico and the crew.

Jason is leaning against a balcony rail, staring down at the glittering bay below. Nico walks up from behind and Jason turns, eyes contrasting eerily against his tanned skin.

“Any word from the king?” Nico stops right in front of him. Jason shakes his head and looks back over the water.

“Every day, he calls for me later and later.”

“We need to leave.” He crosses his arms. “Soon.”

A slow nod. “You sense something?”

Nico bites his tongue before speaking. “Percy and Annabeth are close to the doors. They’ll need us if they’re going to make it through alive.”

Jason sets his jaw. “The ship needs to be repaired before we can leave.”

Nico arches an eyebrow. “I promised I’d lead you to the House of Hades.” He tilts his chin up. “One way or another, I will.”

Jason gives him a once-over. “Look, I appreciate the determination, but you won’t be able to take all of us there by yourself. And we’re going to need everyone at the Doors of Death.”

The orb of Diocletian’s scepter glows purple.

“Then the ship is going to need to be repaired. And the only way that’s going to happen is if you convince the South Wind to help us. Time’s running out. You need to do this today, or we might be too late.”

Jason stares out at the horizon. “You don’t need to tell me twice.”

Nico’s expression softens. “Look, I’m sorry. But we need to get going.” His hand finds his ring and twists it around. “I don’t how much longer we can wait.”

“I don’t know, either.” Jason straightens up. “But you’re right.” He turns back to Nico, leaning his back against the railing. “So, while we’re alone…”

Nico suddenly feels cornered.

“Once the war is over, are you going to come back to camp?”

Nico studies him. “Which one?”

“Camp Half-Blood, I guess.”

Nico laughs. “What’s waiting for me there? I’ve got nobody. Percy’s too busy mooning over Annabeth. Even the Stolls are usually busy.”

“Okay, so how about Camp Jupiter?”

“Only Hazel. And even then…” Nico looks at his feet. “She remembers more of the past than I do. What if she…?”

Jason sucks in a breath. “I can’t promise anything. But I know that Hazel loves you.” He cracks a smile. “She got really angry at me for implying that you might not be trusted.”

And, oh gods, Nico does not want to have this conversation.

“Yeah,” he says shortly. “I know.”

Jason's expression drops like a rock. “I’m sorry about that. That was cold of me.” He sighs. “I know better now. You’re not trying to play the camps against each other; you were just doing what your father told you to.” He drums his fingers. “I can’t change the past, but I do regret it.”

Nico stays quiet for a minute. “Apology accepted.”

“But, anyway,” Jason tilts his head. “Do you want to stay at one of the camps?”

“Yeah, but…”

“But people hate you?” Nico nods. “Then give them the finger and stay anyway. You deserve to be happy and stay where you want. If they don’t like it, then ignore them. They aren’t worth your time.”

Nico’s kind of half in love right now.

“And, most importantly?” Jason pushes off of the railing. “You need to trust somebody. You can’t have friends without trusting anyone.”

And now Nico wants to break something.

Behind him, a gust of scorching air blows out of the now open doors to the throne room.

“Lord Auster will see you now.”

Nico gives Jason one final glare before melting into the shadows.

 

It’s in the House of Hades that Nico feels a glimmer of hope.

When Hazel opens the entrance to the underground levels of the Necromanteion, there’s a golden chalice on the first step of the descending stairwell.

“Hooray,” Leo mumbles, “I suppose that’s our poison.”

Nico picks up the chalice. “We’re standing at the entrance of the Necromanteion.” He turns back to the group. “Odysseus came here, and dozens of other heroes, seeking advice from the dead.”

“Did the dead advise them to leave immediately?” Leo asks.

Piper rubs her arm. “I would be fine with that.”

Nico takes a drink from the chalice then holds it out to Jason. “You said that you need to trust somebody to be their friend? Well, here’s your chance. How much do you trust me?”

Jason takes the chalice without any hesitation.

Nico’s kind of _definitely_ in love.

 

Nico is fully aware that he’s about to go on what is most likely to be a suicide mission.

He feels it in the pit of his stomach when he wakes up from his nap.

He feels it in his hands when they shake, messing up a knot where he’s attempting to harness up the Athena Parthenos.

He feels it in his chest when Jason makes his way over to him, face blank.

Nico just watches him with a steady gaze as Jason runs a hand through his hair.

“So,” Jason begins, “You’re leaving.”

Nico doesn’t really have anything to say to that. Nothing that Jason doesn’t already know, at least.

When Nico doesn’t speak, Jason continues, “So, I wanted to say goodbye.”

“That’s nice of you.”

From the way Jason is slowly breathing in and out of his nose, Nico can tell he’s being difficult.

This pleases him immensely.

But it only makes him feel worse because here he is, with his crush hoping to see him off, and he’s only driving him away because he’s scared and anxious and nervous and he has no idea what the hell to do with someone caring about him, sue him. Nico decides the Fates hate him.

(He decides he hates himself, too.)

There’s a moment of silence. Jason clears his throat. “I’m gonna miss you being around.”

And that’s new. Nico peers at Jason, who only gives him a smile.

Jason might be all calculation and poise, but Nico can read people. Maybe even better than Annabeth or Reyna.

He doesn’t find a shred of deceit.

He smiles back at Jason and has to stop his brain from screaming when Jason’s smile becomes even brighter.

“I know you don’t like being hugged, but…” Jason’s foot grazes the ground.

Nico tilts his head. “You’re right. I don’t.” He waits a moment to watch Jason’s face fall. “But you can hug me.”

Jason’s eyes light up. “Dude, sweet!” And just like that, Nico’s trapped in Jason’s arms.

He doesn’t mind.

It feels like an eternity before Jason lets go, but when he does, Nico wishes he was back in his arms.

(He wishes he didn’t ever have to leave.)

 

Albania is a mess.

In the aftermath, Reyna’s hair is in disarray, Coach Hedge is bleating, Nico’s still strapped to the Athena Parthenos, and dozens of dead birds surround them on the grass of a city plaza.

“Somehow,” Nico says flippantly, “I feel like we just got sucked into an Alfred Hitchcock movie.”

Reyna ignores him, addressing Coach Hedge. “Will you stop making goat noises! We’re in public.”

Coach Hedge scowls at her. “Sorry, Miss Praetor, I didn’t realize it was socially unacceptable for a satyr to make goat noises. I saved the both of you with my ninja moves, you can at least be grateful.”

“You made a _spectacle_ is more like it. They weren’t even Stymphalian birds!”

“They still could have been dangerous!”

“You’re dangerous, you foolish fa—!”

“Guys,” Nico interrupts, “I can just shadow-travel us out of here.”

In the distance, sirens wail. People are shouting in a language Nico can’t understand, but he gets the feeling they might be saying something along the lines of “Bird murderers!”

Reyna and Coach glare at each other one last time before grabbing a hold of Nico.

They melt into the shadows of the statue of the man on a horse.

 

On the twentieth of July, Nico gets stabbed.

At least, that’s what it feels like.

Nico looks down, seeing Reyna and Coach Hedge turn to face him out of the corner of his eyes. But what he sees, out the front of his chest, is nothing.

Nothing, where a sword or spear should be.

“Nico? What’s wrong?” comes Reyna’s voice from his left.

But his mouth won’t move. He can only gape at his chest, perfectly intact, no blood splattered.

“Kid, you’re scaring us.” That’s Coach Hedge, looking as freaked out as a war-obsessed satyr can get.

“Stabbed.” Nico touches his chest gingerly. His ears are buzzing, lowly, but present all the same. “Someone got stabbed. And they’re dying.”

Reyna’s eyes are piercing when he looks up, so he avoids her gaze. “Who?”

Nico shakes his head.

He’s got a few ideas, and he doesn’t like any of them.

 

Mount Vesuvius sits on the horizon, a few miles away from where they stand. Steam curls up from its top.

Nico looks to Reyna as she says, “We’re in Pompeii.”

Nico’s brain lags a bit. He blinks. “Oh, that’s not good.” He then falls face forward onto the ground— but someone’s arms catch him. _Coach Hedge_ , he thinks hazily.

As the satyr undoes his harness, Nico catches sight of Reyna’s face contorting into a grimace. She sits down and stares out into nothing.

Around his boots, stones crack and darkness seeps from the cracks.

Nico makes a noise in the back of his throat.

Reyna hands him a canteen full of unicorn draught. Nico makes a face, but takes a few gulps of the draught.

It’s not even close to being his favorite drink, since it tastes like flat sparkling water.

Nico watches Reyna carefully. “How did you do that… that surge of energy?”

Reyna shows him her legion tattoo. “I don’t like to talk about it, but it’s a power from my mother.” Her expression becomes guarded. “I can impart strength to others.”

Coach Hedge looks up from where he’s rummaging through their supplies. “Seriously? Why haven’t you hooked me up, Roman girl? I want super-muscles!”

“It doesn’t work like that, Coach. I can only do it in life-and death situations, and it’s more useful in large groups. When I command troops, I can share whatever attributes I have — strength, courage, endurance — multiplied by the size of my forces.”

Interesting. “Useful for a Roman praetor.”

Reyna doesn’t respond.

“Too bad,” Coach grunts. “Super-muscles would be nice.”

Nico swigs down some more unicorn draught. A thought occurs to him. “You stumbled just now,” he points the canteen to her. “When you use your power… do you get some sort of, um, feedback from me?”

He’s not sure he wants to know the answer.

Reyna takes a deep breath. He already doesn’t like what he might get. “It’s not mind-reading. Not even an empathy link. Just…” A twitch of the shoulder. “A temporary wave of emotions. Primal emotions. Your pain washes over me. I take on some of your burden.”

Nico really hopes she didn’t feel his feelings for Jason, and the constant worrying for him. He doesn’t think Reyna would like that; he can tell she’s felt the same way about the blond.

And with the way she refuses to look directly at him, he thinks she knows.

Shit.

 

Dream time with Clovis was not particularly Nico’s favorite.

Clovis tended to be sluggish in real life, and this was only amplified during dreams. His words were syrup, trickling out of his mouth.

So of course Nico had to run into him when his life could be in danger.

Nico snaps out of his thoughts when Clovis speaks. “Right… I was thinking you should probably see what happened today at the council of war. I slept through some of it, but—”

Nico’s kind of in a hurry, thanks. “Show me.”

The rec room of the Big House fades in. The head counsellors are gathered around the Ping-Pong table, as usual. Nico feels a pang as he remembers the very few times he’s had the pleasure of being apart of such a gathering.

“Now let’s review our defences,” Chiron says. “Where do we stand?”

Clarisse leans forward. “Our defensive line is mostly solid,” she reports, “The campers are as ready to fight as they’ll ever be. We control the beach. Our triremes are unchallenged on Long Island Sound, but those stupid giant eagles dominate our airspace. Inland, in all three directions, the barbarians have us completely cut off.”

“They’re Romans,” Rachel says as she doodles on her jeans. “Not barbarians.”

Nico has a bad feeling something’s going to happen.

Clarisse points her dagger at Rachel. “What about their allies, huh? Did you see that tribe of two-headed men that arrived yesterday? Or the glowing red dog-headed guys with the big poleaxes? They look pretty barbaric to me. It would’ve been nice if you’d _foreseen_ any of that, if your Oracle power didn’t break down when we needed it most!”

Rachel’s face turns beet red. It didn’t go well with her hair. “That’s hardly my fault. Something is wrong with Apollo’s gifts of prophecy. If I knew how to fix it—”

Clarisse’s growl dies down as Will Solace places his hand on her wrist. She lowers her dagger.

“Everyone in our cabin has been affected. It’s not just Rachel.”

Will vaguely reminds Nico of Jason, but the image is all wrong.

Jason is cool, calculated, and in charge. But you can tell he has a lot of energy by his piercing stare, his vigilancy, and looking like he’s one second away from stabbing a monster in the gut.

Will Solace is lackadaisical. His movements are lazy, almost half-assed. He speaks with a calming cadence, like water trickling over rocks.

So, to pirate aficionado, adventure-loving Nico, Will Solace was completely unattractive.

When Nico wakes up a few dream minutes later, he’s horrified to find the Athena Parthenos lying sideways atop the nearby columns. She seems to say, “Draw me like one of your Greek goddesses!”

Nico would rather not.

 

Nico has an inkling the burning ghost was sent to him by his father.

He keeps his mind open, but as he walks into the church made of bones and skulls, this seems just like the place his father would invite him to.

Lo and behold, Hades appears to monologue, try to act as though he’s here purely for Nico’s sake, and tell him about the hunter in Reyna’s dream.

Orion, giant, born to oppose Apollo and Artemis, tried doing his own thing, failed, got new eyes, became friends with Artemis, and whoops! He’s killed. Applause for another tragedy in Greek mythology, please!

Oh yeah, his father also implies that Nico’s driven by bitterness and anger. Not anymore, Father! Or did you forget the past few years where your son moved on from his anger at the world? Or that his anger was actually just grief?

Okay, Nico’s a little bitter. But he’s allowed when people completely misinterpret him and his motivation, thank you very much.

“My son,” Hades says, dare Nico say gently, “Whatever happens, you’ve earned my respect. You brought honor to our house when we stood together against Kronos in Manhattan. You risked my wrath to help the Jackson boy— guiding him to the River Styx, freeing him from my prison, pleading with me to raise the armies of Erebos to assist him. Never before have I been so _harassed_ by one of my sons. Percy this and Percy that. I nearly blasted you to cinders.”

“I didn’t do all that just for him. I did it because the whole world was in danger.”

His father faintly smiles at him. “I can entertain the possibility that you acted for _multiple_ reasons. My point is this: you and I rose to the aid of Olympus because you convinced me to let go of my anger. I would encourage you to do likewise. My children are rarely happy. I… I would like to see you be an exception.”

Nico stares at his father in disbelief. Anger boils in his stomach, aching to be released for every single person in Évora to bear witness. Words bounce around his head.

“I-I’m not— I’m not angry!” Nico splutters. “Okay, I’m angry now, but that’s an emotion, not a permanent trait! I’m not an angry person, and I’m not this bitter and spiteful creature you think I am! _I’m not you!_ Sure, I might’ve been angry once upon a time, but that was years ago. I let go of my anger when I was eleven! I grew up, I matured, I _changed_ all by myself. And let me remind you, you had to be taught that. You didn’t change by yourself,” he jerks his thumb to himself, “I did. I’m not like you, and don’t you dare think I am ever again.” Nico breathes in shallowly. “You clearly don’t know me if that’s what you think of me.”

Stunned silence. The ghost from before rose and glides over to his father.

“This,” Hades says, somewhat awkwardly, “is Brother Paloan. He’s one of hundreds who were burned alive in the square near the old Roman temple. The Inquisition had its headquarters there, you know. At any rate, he suggests you leave now. You have very little time before the wolves arrive.”

“Wolves?” Nico puts his anger on the backburner. “You mean Orion’s pack?”

Brother Paloan disappears with a flick of his father’s hand. “My son, what you are attempting — shadow-travel across the world, carrying the statue of Athena — it may very well destroy you.”

Nothing Nico didn’t know before. “Thanks for the encouragement.”

Hades moves as though to place his hands on Nico’s shoulders, but with a glare from Nico, lets them dangle at his side. “I will see you again. I will prepare a room for you at the palace in case you do not survive. Perhaps your chambers would look good decorated with the skulls of monks.”

“No,” Nico says as casually as he can, “I’m not like you.”

With that, he turns to run out of the church, not even waiting for his father’s dismissal.

He never liked going to church.

 

After reaching Puerto Rico, Nico is outside of Jason’s cabin in the Argo II.

He doesn’t know how he got there. His mind tells him that he walked there, but he has no recollection of the trek. He’s pretty sure that he’s an entire ocean away, but hey, if his mind is telling him he’s on the Argo II, he’s not going to question it.

His hand reaches up and knocks one, two, three times on the door.

“Wait a second!” Jason calls before Nico hears his footsteps coming closer. The door swings open. Jason stands there, eyes widening before a grin spreads across his face. “Nico! I’m glad you came. I didn’t think you were.” He coughs, a blush blooming on his face. “I mean, come on in, holy Romulus.” He steps back.

Nico tilts his head but steps inside.

Jason’s cabin is relatively sparse. A bronze lantern hangs from one of the many beams on the ceiling, casting constellations across the walls. On the wall hangs a corkboard with a picture tacked onto it. From this distance, Nico can tell who the three figures are, albeit much younger than how Nico knows them now: Annabeth Chase, Thalia Grace, and Luke Castellan.

Nico turns away from the wall.

Jason’s eyebrows are furrowed when Nico faces him but they shoot up as Jason schools his expression. “So. What’re you doing here, visiting my humble abode?”

“There’s something you need to tell me.”

Jason blinks at him. And Nico is surprised, too; he doesn’t know how he knows that. But he does, and it’s obviously the truth, from how Jason shifts.

“I— yeah. I do.” When Nico taps his foot, Jason runs a hand through this hair. “I... gods, I don’t even know how to phrase this.” His eyes pierce Nico as he sits down on the bed. “But Juno took away my memories.”

Nico nods. He’s heard, but even before then, he had a suspicion as soon as he talked to Percy in Camp Jupiter.

“I’ve gotten a lot back, but there are still some that… aren’t there.” Jason chews on his cheek. “And I never knew some might have been there until now. I was happy with Piper.” He leans back. “But when Cupid asked me if I still doubted myself… That made me wonder. Because I do, sometimes. I’ve always pushed it aside, but I _did._ And now I’ve been doubting even more.”

Nico stares at him.

“What I’m trying to say is that I couldn’t tell you if I’m actually straight.” A sigh. “I know that I like girls. But… Whenever I wonder if I like guys, I hit a wall. It’s the exact same feeling that I felt when I first came to Camp Half-Blood.”

“You think Hera is hiding that from you so that you’ll stay with Piper.”

It takes Jason a moment to respond, but he nods. “That’s exactly it. I know she’s the goddess of marriage, but… She’s, ah, _traditional_ . Man and woman. Like it was for Ancient Greece and Rome. For most societies until recently.” He rubs at his eyes. “Piper is a great fit to be a wife, especially for me. Men in positions of power in Rome often had strong women to back them. So I think Hera — or Juno, whatever — _thinks_ she’s doing me a favor. But it feels like there’s something missing, and I think I already know the answer without actually knowing it.”

“Are you…?”

“Saying I might like guys, too?” Jason laughs bitterly. “Yeah.”

Nico feels like he’s in freefall.

Jason smiles, rather wryly. “There you go. That’s the big secret.”

The room begins to get fuzzy around the edges. When Nico squints, he’s not sure where he’s standing.

Jason’s speaking, but it’s growing fainter, almost like a distant memory.

When he wakes up, all he feels is dread.

 

Reyna has been quiet ever since San Juan.

When Hedge and Nico come back from the Buford Zippy Mart, Reyna confides in them that she might have brought them there.

“So you think we were drawn here because you have some sort of connection to the ghosts. Like what happened in San Juan?”

Reyna keeps quiet for about ten seconds. “I don’t want to talk about San Juan.”

Nico understands. He really, really does. “If you don’t want to tell us about it, that’s fine. But I’m guessing you’ve kept quiet about what happened for years, right? How well has that worked out for you?”

She refuses to look up at him.

“Not very well, right? Maybe for some people, not telling anyone works out. But even for those people, problems arise when secrets are dug up. Bad memories are brought to mind, sparking fights between people, even those they love.”

Reyna spins her ring around her finger.

“If you don’t want to tell us, fine. But I want you to be prepared for when you have to face your demons. It will happen, and it’s not going to be pretty.”

Coach Hedge clears his throat. “This is getting too psychological for me. I’m going to write some letters.”

Reyna watches the satyr leave. Nico keeps his eyes on her, even when she looks at him.

A minute passes.

Nico opens up his shopping bag and pulls out a box of oatmeal creme pies, offering one to Reyna.

She wrinkles her nose. “Those look like they went stale in dinosaur times.”

“Maybe.” Nico takes one out for himself. “But I’ve got a big appetite these days. Any kind of food tastes good.” He thinks for a moment. “Except maybe pomegranate seeds. I’m done with those.”

Reyna pulls out a creme pie and takes a bite. “The ghosts in San Juan… they were my ancestors.”

Nico waits.

As Reyna talks, he notices that his hands are smoky, almost as translucent as water. The sunlight comes back, and his hands turn solid once more. It’s kind of freaky.

Reyna’s voice cracks. “I can’t do this. I can’t talk about him.”

Nico attempts to remain calm. “I get it. Painful memories are hard to talk about.” He tilts his head. “But I want you to know that I won’t judge you. I won’t speak a word to anyone about what you tell me.”

Reyna eyes him critically.

Nico stares right back.

She sighs. “I never knew my father in his better days.”

Reyna’s words wash over him. He’d guessed that there was trauma involving her father, but never this. All the same, he doesn’t hold it against her.

“You didn’t kill your father. The man was already dead,” Nico insists, leaning forward. “You dispelled a ghost.”

“It doesn’t matter!” Reyna’s hands go flailing. “It word of this got out at Camp Jupiter—”

“You’d be executed,” says an unknown voice.

 

Nico wants to kick himself.

They were supposed to be on guard for anyone who might be an enemy, and yet this guy shows up, ready to arrest Reyna.

Nico really hates himself right now.

“A faun,” Bryce says, eying the coach in fascination, “Interesting. I heard the Greeks actually trusted their goat men.”

Gleeson bleats. “I’m a satyr. And you can trust I’m going to put this bat upside your head, you little punk.”

He charges, but skeletal warriors erupt from the ground and grab his arms to lift him off of the ground.

Nico stares at the son of Orcus as Hedge yells at his attackers. He could have sworn he didn’t feel any dead here at the gravesite, even though both Coach Hedge and Reyna told him they were present.

“I forgot to mention,” Bryce says nonchalantly, “I’m actually not alone on this quest. As you can see, I have backup. These redcoats promised quarter to the colonials. Then they butchered them. Personally, I like a good massacre, but because they broke their oaths, their spirits are damned, and they are perpetually under the power of Orcus. Which means they are also under _my_ control.” He points to Reyna. “Seize the girl.”

As the skeletons rush toward Reyna, Nico unfreezes and tries to fight his way through the warriors, but his sword goes right through them.

He’s powerless.

And in that instant, he’s transported to another moment in time.

Percy’s standing there, jaw set, eyes glossy. His mouth is moving, but Nico can’t hear a thing. All he knows is pain, anger, hollowness.

Bianca’s gone.

He wants to lash out, destroy the world in his anguish. Let the trees be set aflame, let the ground crumble and shake underneath his feet, let the lightning strike. He wants to hurt Percy. 

The floor of the dining pavilion rumbles and splits, skeletons cascading out of the seam.

He hates, hates, _hates_ Percy Jackson.

He’s shaken back into the present by Bryce mocking him. “What’s wrong, son of Hades? Losing your grip?”

He knows what he needs to do.

Anger simmers deep inside him. _Come on, make me pissed off_ , he thinks. He tries to push through the skeletons, but no luck.

“Nico, get out of here!” Reyna yells at him through the skeleton barrier. “Get to the statue and leave.”

He wants to yell back that he has a plan, but he doesn’t really want to tell her that his plan is going berserk.

“Yes, off you go!” Bryce says, all chipper, “Of course, you realize your next shadow-jump will be your last. You know you don’t have the strength to survive another. But by all means, take the Athena Parthenos.”

Nico silently curses. As much as he hates to admit it, Bryce is right; his hands are dark and see-through, almost like looking through grey stained glass.

He’s dissolving in direct sunlight.

“Either way, you’re going to die.” Bryce’s triumphant grin made Nico’s gut churn. “You either shadow-travel right into oblivion, or you die here; I’ve got no orders to bring either you or the faun alive.”

Hedge yells in protest.

Bryce lowers his javelin and pokes the coach in the belly. Words are coming out of his mouth, but all Nico feels is righteous rage. He clings to the feeling, amping it up inside his brain.

Reyna struggles. “Bryce, forget about them. If you want me as your prisoner, fine. I’ll go willingly and face Octavian’s stupid trial.”

Nico silently begs for Reyna to look at him. She makes no such move, instead keeping her eyes on Bryce as he monologues.

Finally — finally! — Reyna turns to him. Her strength surges through him. He feels whole, substantial again.

All he needs is one last push. Something to tip him over.

“Nico, do what you need to do,” she says, “I’ve got your back.”

“Oh, Reyna.” Bryce’s smirk makes Nico want to stab him right in the dick. “You’ve got his back? It’s going to be so much fun dragging you before a tribunal, forcing you to confess that you killed your father. I hope they’ll execute you the ancient way— sewn into a sack with a rabid dog, then thrown into a river. I’ve always wanted to see that. I can’t wait until your little secret comes out.”

Nico’s face buzzes, his fingers tingle, his chest feels tight.

Bryce flicks the point of his pilum across Reyna’s face, leaving a line of blood.

The air turns ice cold. The ground turns black as his sword.

In just one screech, anger and pain emanates from his body, crashing down on every human in the clearing like a tidal wave of emotion.

Memories of the bronze jar, slowly suffocating and starving his way to death, hoping for someone to save him, free him from this pain.

Memories of being all alone, atop of the mast of the Argo II.

Memories of Cupid, taunting and mocking and playing him like a fucking fiddle, pushing him until he couldn’t hide anymore.

Memories of Jason, wanting so much more than Jason could ever give him.

Nico’s body storms over to Bryce and rips the probatio tablet off of its chain. “You aren’t worthy of this.”

The earth splits at Bryce’s feet. He slowly sinks down into the ground, grasping at whatever he can grab. His mouth moves, but Nico doesn’t hear him. Can’t hear him.

All he knows now is blinding rage.

“You took an oath to the legion. You broke its rules. You inflicted pain. You killed your own centurion. You should’ve died for your crimes; that was the punishment. Instead you got exile. You should have stayed away. Your father Orcus may not approve of broken oaths, but my father Hades _really_ doesn’t approve of those who escape punishment.”

Bryce’s eyes are pleading, begging for mercy.

Nico laughs, loud and dark. “Did you really forget that emotions are tied to powers? I played you, Bryce Lawrence.” Nico shakes his head. “But the difference between you and I is that I only use my dark side against people who deserve it, not innocents.”

Bryce’s body turns dark and smoky. He gets dragged down into the earth, now up to his chest.

“You should have died a long time ago.” Nico’s eyes pierce through him. “You can’t escape death.”

What was Bryce Lawrence is now a spirit with no distinct facial features.

“Begone.” Nico’s chin lifts up.

The spirit dissipates. The earth seals back up, leaving no trace of there ever being a rip in the ground.

Nico collapses.

 

“So…” Coach begins, “Jason Grace, huh?”

They’re flying over the East Coast. The skies are almost as light blue as a certain son of Jupiter’s eyes. Pegasi are on either side of them, carrying them to Camp Half-Blood.

Nico gives Gleeson a warning look.

Coach pushes on. “He’s handsome, I suppose. Much too young for me, obviously.”

Nico keeps staring at him, trying to convey that he doesn’t really want to talk about his crush-maybe-not-so-crush-anymore. It, of course, fails spectacularly.

“I was the one who brought him, Piper, and Leo to Camp Half-Blood. A bit grumpy, a little aggressive, and definitely sarcastic. Not too bad. You could always do worse, like deciding you wanted to romance Valdez. That one?” He whistles. “Hoo boy, nothing says little punk like rewiring your megaphone so that it says random stuff like ‘Beep beep, I’m a sheep’ and ‘The cow jumped over the moon to kick your ass’.”

Nico lets out a snort at that.

“So, yeah. Not my type, but hey! I don’t like guys, and I’ve got an amazing wife waiting for me.” His expression darkens.

Nico’s stomach gets tangled up into knots. “She’s going to be fine. We’re on our way, and we’re going to save the world. Including her.”

Coach doesn’t say anything, and neither does Nico.

 

Will Solace is fucking infuriating.

He not only tries to hold Nico’s hand — who the _fuck_ does he think he is — but tries to boss him around, citing “Doctor’s orders.”

He’s not even a real doctor, what the fuck is he talking about?

After Nico summons a few skeletons to distract the Romans, he almost falls onto his face. Will catches him.

“You idiot.” Will puts an arm around him. “I told you no more of that Underworld magic.”

Nico grows agitated. “I’ll be fine. And don’t touch me.”

“You’re not now.” he digs out a pack of gum from out of his pocket.

“Let go of me,” Nico growls. He tries to squirm free, but Will is stronger than he looks.

“Stop moving,” Will says, “and eat this.”

And Nico’s had it with this punk. “Look,” he whirls on Will, “I don’t know who the _fuck_ you think you are, but you are a stranger and I did _not_ give you permission to touch me. So you’re going to let me go before I decide to shove my fucking sword down your fucking throat. Got it?”

Will scowls, but releases him.

“Thank you.” With that, he takes the gum and pops it into his mouth. He makes a face. “What is this?”

“It’s medicinal gum. Should keep you alive and alert for a few more hours.”

“Tastes like tar and dirt.” He sticks his hand out. “I might need another one, in case this battle takes longer than we think it might.”

“You’re not getting any more,” Will says with an exasperated expression.

Nico blows his hair out of his face. “Had to try.”

Cecil comes back over. “Hey, you guys kind of missed the fight.”

Lou Ellen bounds toward them, smiling brightly. The Roman guards in the background are tied up in a combination of ropes and bones.

“Thanks for the skeletons,” she chirps. “Great trick.”

“Which he won’t be doing again.” This is emphasized with a glare at Nico.

Nico shrugs. “I’ll do what I need to do. This is war, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“Fine, Death Boy, if you want to get yourself killed—”

“Call me that again and you’re the one who’s going to get himself killed!”

Lou Ellen clears her throat. “Um, guys—”

From behind them came, “DROP YOUR WEAPONS!”

 

Typical. Just fucking typical.

Of course he had to get distracted by Will fucking Solace. He wasn’t even that cute, what the hell, di Angelo.

“Thanks a lot, asshole,” he mutters as he throws a glare at the son of Apollo. Will makes a face back at him.

As the dog-headed men come closer, Nico raises his sword, prepared to put some not-quite-dogs down.

But before he had time to attack, Will lets out a piercing taxi cab whistle.

All six-dog-men drop their weapons, grab their ears, and wail in agony.

“Dude,” Cecil complains, “What the actual Hades? A little warning next time.”

Will doesn’t seem to be bothered. “It’s even worse for the dogs.” He shrugs. “One of my few musical talents. I do a really _awful_ ultrasonic whistle.”

_Thanks, don’t care_ , Nico thinks as he wades through the dog-men. He jabs at them with his sword and they get sucked into the infernal metal.

Octavian is dumbfounded. “My— my elite guard!” He looks around. “Did you see what he did to my elite guard?”

“See,” Nico begins, stepping forward, “I’m a dog person. I hate the thought of hurting dogs.” He gestures to where the dog-men once stood. “You saw those? Those weren’t dogs.”

The soldiers of the First Cohort have a moment where they glance at one another in awe. But then they remember that they’re soldiers. They level their pila.

Octavian freaks out. “You will be destroyed! You Graeci sneak around, sabotaging our weapons, attacking our men—”

“You mean the weapons you were about to fire at us?” Cecil interrupts him, nostrils flaring.

“And the men who were about to burn our camp to ashes?” Lou Ellen throws her arm behind her and points to said camp.

“Just like a Greek!” Octavian’s arms wave about. “Trying to twist things around! Well, it won’t work!” He points at the nearest legionnaires. “You, you, you, and you. Check all the onagers. Make sure they’re operational. I want them fired simultaneously as soon as possible. Go!”

The four Romans run.

Nico peers at his fingernails, running his thumb over his pointer finger. They can’t see how nervous he is if he hides his face under his hair.

He looks up when Octavian marches up to him. He arches an eyebrow at the augur.

“Tell me, son of Pluto, why are you helping the Greeks? What have they ever done for you?”

Nico rolls his eyes. “First of all, _I’m_ Greek. Second, I was the one behind the scenes helping Camp Half-Blood win its side of the Titan War.” He laughs. “Who do you think helped Percy Jackson survive? Me. I have a track record of saving the world, not destroying it, thank you very much.”

Octavian fumes. “The Greeks must have offered you something. What is it? A place in their camp? They won’t honor their agreement.”

“They didn’t offer me anything. I know it might be hard for you to understand, but I’m doing this of my own free will. Besides, even if they _did_ offer me a place in return for my help in the war, I wouldn’t accept it.”

Will makes a sound like he’d been punched. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“Because some of us like doing things out of the good of our hearts, Solace.” Nico pauses. “Oh, wait, are you talking about staying at camp? If I’m going to stay, it’s because I want to, not because I’m required to. And trust me, a lot of people don’t want me to. I don’t really belong.”

“Oh, please. Nobody at Camp Half-Blood ever pushed you away.” Will sounds unusually angry. “You have friends— or at least, people who would like to be your friend. You pushed yourself away. If you’d get your head out of that brooding cloud of yours for once—”

If Nico didn’t like Will Solace before, he loathes him now.

“Enough!” Octavian snaps. “Di Angelo, I can beat any offer the Greeks could make. I always thought you would make a powerful ally. I see the ruthlessness in you, and I appreciate that. I can assure you a place in New Rome. All you have to do is step aside and allow the Romans to win. The god Apollo has shown me the future—”

“No!” Will pushes Nico out of the way. Nico’s offended; he wanted to be the one to tear into Octavian, especially for the ruthless comment. “ _I_ am a son of Apollo, you anemic loser. My father hasn’t shown anyone the future, because the power of the prophecy isn’t working. But this—” He waves at the legion and the hordes of monsters on the hillside. “This is _not_ what Apollo would want!”

Octavian’s lip curls. “You lie. The god told me _personally_ that I would be remembered as the savior of Rome. I will lead the legion to victory, and I will start by—”

_Thunk, thunk, thunk._

All the onagers fire at once, and six golden comets fly into the sky.

“By destroying the Greeks!” Octavian gleefully cries. “The days of Camp Half-Blood are over!”

 

The days of Camp Half-Blood are not over.

The victory celebrations are muted, with the death of Leo Valdez, among others. Funeral pyres burn all throughout the afternoon and evening, makeshift shrouds catching flame. They all become black.

Nico’s not sure if the news that Leo wasn’t quite dead made things better or worse.

Even so, his heart lifts when he sees Jason at the door of his cabin the second day after the battle.

“You okay?" The son of Jupiter asks, his eyebrows furrowing. Nico never really noticed it before, but his eyebrows are a shade or two darker than his hair. “You look—”

“Tired?” Nico yawns. “Yeah. Kind of. Got as much sleep as I could, though.” He glances to the other side of the cabin. “If you’re looking for Hazel, she’s still asleep.”

Jason mouths _Oh_ , and gestures for Nico to come outside.

Nico gladly does.

“It was strange to see them here,” Jason starts, pointing to the strawberry fields, where the Romans were breaking camp. “Now it’ll be strange _not_ seeing them.”

Jason has glasses on. Nico doesn’t know when he got them, who gave them to him, or why exactly he needs them. Either way, he’s a hundred times hotter.

(Nico thinks he might have a thing for glasses.)

“Do you regret not going with them?”

Jason’s smile is a little lopsided. Nico’s brain screams. “A little. But it’s not like we won’t be seeing them in the future; demigods are gonna come and go between the camps.”

“And you’ll be one of them?”

“We’ll see.” Jason’s expression is guarded. “I made a decision to be Greek.” His eyes dart towards Nico. “Did I ever tell you that ambrosia tasted like one of New Rome’s bakeries to me?”

“No,” Nico says. “You didn’t.”

“Well, when I decided to go Greek, the brownies… didn’t taste the same. They didn’t taste like home.”

Nico’s heart breaks. “But now that means you can try new things. Maybe something else will become the taste of home to you.”

Jason’s smile is dazzling. “Thanks.” He turns more serious. “What about you?”

Nico thinks he might know what Jason’s talking about. “What do you mean?”

“Are you going to stay at camp? I know you wanted to stay, but…”

“Yeah,” Nico confirms with a nod. “I’m staying.”

Jason’s whole demeanor changes. “That’s great!” If he had a tail, it would be wagging like crazy. Maybe level eighty tail waving. His arms spread out, waiting for a hug.

Nico walks right into them, sighing happily when Jason’s arms wrap around him.

“Oh, man, wait until I tell—” Jason’s face falls. “Um.”

Nico glances up. “What?”

“Oh, um, nothing.” Jason clears his throat. “Piper wanted to talk to me about something, that’s all.”

Nico has the feeling that’s not all, but he nods. Out the corner of his eye, he catches sight of Will Solace standing in the doorway of the Apollo cabin. He points at Nico and then at the ground. “Oh, boy.”

“Nah, I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“No,” Nico pulls away from the embrace. “I’m not talking about that.” He keeps his eyes on Will, silently challenging him. “Don’t turn around now, but there’s a punk who thinks he can boss me around.”

Jason stiffens and spins around, just like Nico expected him to. “Who, Will?”

“Yep.” Nico pops the p. “That asshole tried to tell me that I pushed everyone away and that I’ve, ah, got my head stuck in a brooding cloud.”

Jason’s fists clench.

“But it’s fine. I’m gonna go kick his ass. Wait right here.”

Jason looks like he wants to protest but he relents.

Nico marches on.

 

“So where were you?” Will demands when Nico approaches him.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been stuck in the infirmary for, like, two days. You don’t come by. You don’t offer to help.”

Nico gives him a weird look. “Why should I?”

“You can’t help out a friend? Maybe cut bandages? Bring me a soda or a snack? Or just a simple _How’s it going, Will?_ You don’t think I could stand to see a friendly face?”

“That implies I want to be your friend.”

Will stares at him.

“I know, it’s hard to comprehend. But, you know, yelling at someone that they push everyone away and that they’ve got their head stuck in a brooding cloud doesn’t really earn you brownie points. It tends to make people hate you.”

Nico looks him directly in the eye. Will’s still staring at him, wide-eyed.

“And I will have you know that I have witnessed people look at me, just _days_ after I helped save the world from the Titans, wondering why I was still here. Someone flat out asked me that.” He jabs his finger into Will’s chest. “And where the hell were you? You never once showed your face around me during that time. Or even when I first came to camp! The Stolls were the closest people I had to friends here.”

Nico takes a shuddering breath. “Don’t say that you wanted to be my friend when you never made the effort. And don’t go crying about it when I say that I don’t want to be your friend, especially when you boss me around and expect me to listen to every word you say. I do not deserve a friend who’s going to get easily frustrated with me and yell at me. I deserve someone who’s going to be patient and understanding, even when they might not agree with me. So, no, I’m not going to show my face around the infirmary if I don’t need to.”

Nico can hear someone inside the Apollo cabin go “Damn, son.”

“Speaking of the infirmary…” Will finally speaks after a minute of silence. His voice is meeker than it was before Nico’s tirade. “You should stay there for a few days.”

Nico nods. “Okay. How long?”

“Three days.”

“I can do that. My only condition is that you are not in charge of monitoring me. And I assume my friends can visit me, right?”

Will nods slowly.

Nico studies him. “Will?” The son of Apollo hums. “Maybe I was a little harsh. But you don’t get to act as though you know what I think when you’ve never even spoken to me until a few days ago and think you can get away with it. I don’t stand for that.” He takes a deep breath. “If you can mature a little bit and not be so bossy, I think we might be able to be friends. But that’s it.”

Will’s expression closes off. “How did you—?”

“I’m not dense, Will.” Nico runs a hand through his hair. “You literally tried to hold my hand, and then you got so defensive on my behalf. It’s not that hard to guess.”

Will rubs his arm. “Well, sorry.”

“Apology accepted. Give me some time, okay? The wound is still pretty recent.” Nico glances down at his arms. “Speaking of wounds, I should get these claw marks looked at.”

Will narrows his eyes at them. “They seem to be healing okay, but yeah, double check that.”

“Will do,” Nico says. “Anyway, I’m gonna head back to Jason and tell him that I’ll be going. Oh! Can I bring something along to pass the time? I don’t want to always be sleeping, and it’s bound to get boring.”

Will manages to smile. “Sure. Just make sure to get a lot of rest, okay?”

Nico rolls his eyes. “Yes, sir.” He salutes him with two fingers. “Catch you sometime.”

Will waves at him as he walks off.

 

Staying in the infirmary is not half bad.

He gets to have decent food, Jason visits him a bunch, and he gets to read the rest of the Harry Potter series.

(He feels like he would be in Ravenclaw. Always searching for knowledge, testing the limits, being adventurous. Sounds like his thing.)

Will is still sort of awkward around him, but that’s fair. He _did_ reject him pretty harshly and told him to keep his distance for now.

Nico still sometimes smiles at him when he’s around.

 

It’s during his three day stay at the infirmary that Nico hears the news.

He stares at Jason, who has his eyes turned toward the floor. “I thought you two loved each other,” he manages finally. “I… Are you okay?”

Jason smiles, still not looking up at him. “I’ll be fine.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Jason runs a hand through his hair. What was once short of shaggy is now cut a bit shorter, but still longer than it was when Nico first met Jason, all the way back in Camp Jupiter.

It looks good on him.

“To tell you the truth?” Jason gazes up at him, “I couldn’t tell you if I tried. I’m… not doing horrible, but I feel hollow. But it’s like I knew it was coming.”

Nico nods slowly. He’s never been in a relationship, much less been broken up with, so he doesn’t think he can offer a lot of advice.

“We’re still going to be friends, no doubt about that. Just… taking some time apart before we’ll be friends again. She’s upset that I was holding something from her, and I was making myself unhappy. We’re going to need time.”

As Jason’s talking, Nico finds Will in the bustle of the infirmary.

“But I’m hopeful that everything’s going to be okay between the two of us.”

Nico couldn’t agree more.

 

The rest of Camp Half-Blood is unsure about what to think of him.

He’s had some of the campers try to joke around with him, offering recommendations for other books.

A few Aphrodite girls come up to him, suggesting that they help him with his wardrobe. Nico agrees; most of his clothing is either faded, torn, or just too small.

(He finds out he’s a Deep Winter. So, apparently that means he looks good in vibrant, fully saturated colors. He now might have more colors in his wardrobe other than black, but he made sure that most of it was still dark.)

Other campers… are not fond of him. He knows that. And he’s aware that he’s never going to change their mind.

His half-brother Adolf Hitler was only one in the long stretch of Hades kids who fit the stereotype of the villainous, greedy, power-hungry child of Hades.

There’s not much Nico can do but continue living his life and show those who aren’t yet indoctrinated that he’s not evil, nor do they have any reason to fear him.

Jason would be proud of him.

 

Months go by.

Nico feels more at home in Camp Half-Blood than he ever did.

Ares kids start asking him for tips on sparring, or ask him to a duel.

Hecate kids like to be around another Underworld kid. Besides, he likes magic, and he understands magic better than most demigods, so he’s a good candidate for talking about the theory of a new spell.

Iris kids are impressed by how quickly he takes to sketching. They even get him a sketchbook for Christmas.

Athena kids let him use their collection of books; even if he doesn’t want to go back to school, he loves learning, and Athena kids love people who love learning.

Nico sings along at campfires, laughing when Jason purposefully sings off-key.

Jason just grins at him.

 

“So,” Nico says when he goes to meet Jason under their tree, “Christopher Columbus might not have fucked llamas, but his men definitely did.”

Jason stares wide-eyed at him, looking as though he didn’t expect Nico to start with that. He should have expected something crazy, at least. “What?”

Nico flops down onto the grass. “Before Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492, the sexually transmitted disease that we know today as syphilis was only found in llamas. After his journey to the New World, syphilis was found in humans.”

Jason lets that sink in. “Holy shit.”

Nico nods. “Bestiality is not for kids.”

“Good thing we’re desensitized teenagers, then. People had sex with animals and others had sex with other people as animals all the time in Greek mythology.”

“Like your dad.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Too late.”

 

When Nico falls asleep, he sometimes slips into Jason’s dreams.

Maybe it’s a little creepy, but he can’t help but want to be closer. And even if he doesn’t go searching for Jason, the blond pops into his dreams anyway.

What’s the use in fighting it?

Nico pushes past all of his thoughts in his dream, letting his soul reach out for Jason. His mind becomes more alert and he lets himself be dragged into another realm.

He’s spat into a hallway. He walks down it, feeling his chest becoming taut.

A door is open a crack.

He pushes it open and spots Jason on the bed, wearing boxers, a shirt, and his glasses. There’s a book in his hands.

Jason looks up when he enters. He beams. “I was starting to wonder if you got strangled by a string of toothpaste.”

Nico laughs. “Our toothpaste isn’t sentient, Jase.”

He closes his book. “It could be.”

“But it isn’t.” Nico climbs into bed, finding that he’s dressed almost the same as Jason. “You ready to go to sleep?”

Jason hums. “I was planning to read a little, but I guess you made sure that wouldn’t happen, huh?”

Nico smiles fondly. “Shut up.”

Jason flicks off the lamp and gets under the covers. “Gladly.”

When Jason settles into the sheets, Nico can’t help but search his face. Jason chuckles. “What?”

“Nothing. Just wondering how I got so lucky.” _And why you’re dreaming of us cohabitating_ , he thinks to himself.

Jason rolls his eyes, but Nico can see that his cheeks are pinker than the rest of his face. “You’re such a sap.”

“Might as well call me a tree.”

Jason laughs. “That was horrible.” He takes Nico’s face in his hands. “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

Nico grins. “You love me anyway.”

“I do.” And with that, he kisses Nico sweetly.

Nico wants to scoop this feeling in his chest and put it in a jar so that he can keep it forever, but as soon as Jason starts pulling away, the dream starts to fade around the edges.

“I love you,” is what he hears before he’s whisked off to another dream.

 

When Nico next sees Jason, Jason is as cool as a cucumber.

Nothing that really indicates stronger feelings than friendship, but if that dream meant anything, then Jason could be hiding them.

Jason’s the type to keep quiet about anything that he deems isn’t important, so Nico’s not surprised.

Jason’s never really felt that his feelings were important.

 

When Jason looks to him, roasting a marshmallow over the campfire, Nico thinks he might be the luckiest demigod in the world.

He doesn’t even care that he’s not dating him; being Jason’s friend is a treasure in of itself.

(Besides, being his boyfriend can wait. Nico’s always liked taking things slow.)

**Author's Note:**

> toa? i don't know her!!
> 
> come watch me shitpost on twitter [@carterhxrt](https://twitter.com/carterhxrt)


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